Funny Sayings About Retirement

Corrine Clemons

17 Feb, 2022

Behind every retired man it is a woman hoping him to go back to work. The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.

70 Best Funny Inspirational Retirement Quotes

If you have negative thoughts about retirement go through these quotes and lets us help change the attitude.

. - Emily Claire Tamblyn When men reach their sixties and retire they go to pieces. Share this quote on Facebook Send via Mail A new life awaits. _Now you get a new boss who knows about your true work ethic organizational skills and excuses.

Women go right on cooking Gail Sheehy Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The best is yet to come. So take time to read our funny retirement speech jokes.

Women go right on cooking. You cant help getting older but you dont have to get old George Burns 4. Its nice to get out of the rat race but you have to learn to get along with less cheese Gene Perret Spreading sheets sounds more appealing than a spreadsheet Unknown The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.

If you dont mind it doesnt matter Mark Twain Retirement. - Unknown When some people retire its going to be mighty hard to be able to tell the difference. The trouble with retirement is that you dont get a day off.

Retirement is just a never-ending vacation. Theres no dress code but you probably cant afford clothes anymore. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest but not so fully that you run out of money Jonathan Clements Retired people compliment my teeth then tell me to take care of them.

Happiness isnever having to use another work acronym. -Retirement opens the gates of doing all the funny activities that you have wanted to do in the days of your job but could not fulfil those desires due to time constraints. Old age is always fifteen years older than I am Oliver Wendell Holmes 2.

I know you will have a rocking time with retired life. Retirement is Hello Pension and bye tension. Funny Retirement Quotes for your Friend Even though you hate this job you will miss it right.

If you also want to know how you can make your retirement life blissful check out our retirement investment and other financial blogs to help you plan for it. Funny Retirement Sayings Group 2 Retired people compliment my teeth then tell me to take care of them. But Im still happy-ish for you.

Retirement takes all the meaning out of weekends. I have a lot of years left before I retire but I will gladly take pointers from you. Have fun watching your lifes savings dwindle out Unknown 7My parents didnt want to move to Florida but they turned sixty and thats the law.

Funny Retirement Quotes The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Welcome to the next phase of life. Abe Lemons 0 Happiness is being retired and spending all of my kids inheritance before I die.

1 Retirement is the beginning of the time when you can sit back and give advice to others even though you never followed it in your own life. From funny retirement one liners to retirement toast quotes short and funny sayings about retirement have a variety of uses. Old age is like everything else.

Retirement is when you will finally curse yourself for using an important deadline at work as an excuse for not taking care of your body all these years Unknown 6Congratulations on retiring. Funny Retirement Quotes 1. 25 What a life you will come Weekend for the weekend You retire Be forever young.

I couldnt be happier unless of course I was the one retiring. What do you call a person who is happy on Monday. Funny Quotes About Retirement Age is an issue of mind over matter.

Its not the end of your life its the end of your bank account. Retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife honey Im home for good. Here are Funny Retirement Sayings for Cards Retirement means No Alarms No commute and No Problems.

Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples. Funny Retirement Wishes for Friend.

26 Retirement is starting of the new time while you. Unknown Author I always arrive late at the office but I make up for it by leaving early. Make a retiring colleague laugh with these funny quotes about retirement.

You are only young once but you can stay immature indefinitely. When you quit working just before your heart does. Funny Retirement Wishes _Retirement is like graduation- only this time you will do a masters on laziness.

Unknown Author Im retired goodbye tension hello pension. To make a success of it youve got to start young Theodore Roosevelt 3. Robert Benchley Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous.

- Virginia Graham Theres never enough time to do all the nothing you want. Spouses make the toughest bosses. Its doing nothing without worrying about.

While were meeting deadlines youll be meeting friends on the golf course. Funny Retirement Quotes When men reach their sixties and retire they go to pieces. No job no stress no pay Unknown Retire from work but not from life MK.

_For someone who looks forward to lay around all day retirement must be thrilling. It is a retired person. -Retirement can be funny and terrifying at the same time.

Funny Retirement Quotes. The idea of never using your alarm clock after decades of service life can be exasperating. Think about retirement as being two six-month holidays per year.

He must use it. 24 Wow now you can get up late do not shave sit all day reading the newspaper and spend the whole week doing nothing productive. Baruch 0 Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.

- Bill Watterson. We only hate you a little. A man cant retire his experience.

Thats when you return from work one day and say Hi honey Im home forever Gene Perret Retirement is the worlds longest coffee break Author Unknown When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance his colleagues generally present him with a watch RC. Soni It is better to. Abe Lemons 65 tips for a healthy wealthy and happy retirement.

Anon 0 Age is only a number a cipher for the records. 2 Old age fragile bones doctor visits medical checkups and a weak bladder are you still looking forward to retirement. I thought we were just all excited you were getting new tires on your car.

Now that youre retired you can binge-watch all those great Netflix shows. - Gail Sheehy People are always asking me when Im going to retire. The best part about retirement is that you dont have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing.

Funny Quotes to Say Happy Retirement. Hey exactly like when you were working. This always makes me think they are trying to steal them.

Whether youre writing a retirement roast speech or just putting a funny note in a greeting card these are some hilarious ways to congratulate coworkers on retirement. Funny Retirement Quotes Retirement. Retirement is waking up in the morning with nothing to do and by bedtime having done only half of it.

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